Vidula was slogging her way to the cubicle, she knew what was ahead of her for the day... another boring day in office. She unlocked her workstation and opened her email, the first thing she did in office everyday. She drank water when the emails where being refreshed, the folder named “IMPORTANT” didn't have any unread emails, three years as an IT employee she knew her manager's emails were indeed “IMPORTANT” and required special attention. She was automatically logged into the office chat and status changed to “Available”, her task bar was already flashing with an instant message from Varesh Balachandren.
Varesh: “Hey Good Morning! What doing?”
Vidula: “hi.. GM! Just checking emails.. what news?”
Varesh: “Actually... one important matter...”
Vidula: “Hmmm... tell tell”
Varesh: “One girl...!”
Vidula: “Only one???
”
Varesh: “hey mokka.. I m serious!”
Vidula: “O.K...tell!”
Varesh: “Saw a girl in cafeteria...”
Vidula: “when?”
Varesh: “Actually one week back... daily going to cafeteria to see her”
Vidula: “
whats her name?”
Varesh: “Don't know!”
Vidula: “Which project? ”
Varesh: “Don't know!”
Vidula: “Waste fellow... One week and you didn't find it out yet?? you call yourself a GUY!
”
Varesh: “Hey... actually only after you asked I realized it... till now I didn't feel like knowing all these details about her!”
Vidula: “hmmm hmmm”
Vidula knew varesh from school days, they wen to same college and now working in same company. From what vidula knew about varesh, it never mattered to him if he had a girlfriend or not, he wasn't the desperate types, he looked but never went overboard for a girl, but now she felt may be this one was an exception.
Varesh: “First look made it all, I was not bothered on who might be around talking to her. All which mattered was the sight of her. Those expressive cute smile, hands of hers playing in air while she was busy expressing herself and with the breeze making her hair lift up from her shoulders. With a bag hanging from her left shoulders and a brown or maroon chudidhare she was wearing. I must be insanely stuck on the sight I even forgot to move from where I was standing upon. It was a ordinary evening, until this scene before me unfolded. I had no idea why I had gone to canteen that particular evening, which was not part of the general routine of mine. Colleague beside had to pat me, while I was awestruck, to help me come back to reality!! Actually, what I was seeing was a reality too, it was just a scene of a girl who didn't do anything out of ordinary, she was just having a simple conversation may be with her friend. Why is it that it felt like something special I was looking at? Not many guys in that place were looking at her either, which means she was not that great chick!”
Varesh: “r u ter?”
Vidula: “you have typed so much, let me finish reading it!!!!”
Varesh: “ok ok”
Vidula: “VARESH!!! r u in LOVE??”
Varesh: “I don't know... but listen... This clear scene made me go to canteen often, I had no other thought or I dint know anything about her. I have no idea what made me do it. But I did know with my meager skills of reading a mind that
Varesh considered himself to be a smart guy, but the questions vidula was framing made him look stupid, he wondered, why isn't vidula interested in things I know about her!
Varesh: “I wasn’t feeling bad on not knowing anything about her. May be, things like this I have never seen or experienced before. All I knew was that I enjoyed watching that girl that I thought. This was more than enough to make me feel happy. I did not want to be blank like this again, today evening come to cafeteria I'll show her may be you can help me out!”
Vidula: “You know this is called LOVE at first sight! ”
Varesh: “May yes or may be no... I don't know... just come ok.. 4.30 cafeteria!”
Vidula: “yes yes sure!! but your treat!”
Varesh: “we will decide it there... bye!”
Vidula: “Bye bye Lover boy!!
”
When she closed the chat window, she noticed an unread email in “IMPORTANT” folder. Work consumed vidula's entire noon, it was almost 2.30 when she finished her work and replied to that email. She was hungry and eating alone was even more boring, she scanned around for a company. She noticed Ananwika sitting two cubicles away lost in her work.
Ananwika was one year junior and Vidula had to force ananwika to join her for lunch. The girls occupied a table in the far corner of the canteen.
Vidula: “Hey don't work too much ok?”
Ananwika: “Nothing like that...!”
Vidula: “You okay? You don't look so good...”
Ananwika was about to reply but she paused and took a long breathe, her eyes became moist.
Vidula: “Ananwika... what's wrong?”
Ananwika tried to smile but she couldn't stop the tears rolling out of her eyes. “Why is it happening to me?”
Vidula didn't respond but was patiently waiting for Ananwika to continue.
Ananwika: “I fell in love with a guy in college, he was smart and intelligent, we loved each other a lot, he was everything to me..but..” her eyes were red, she burst into uncontrollable tears, Vidula could see intense pain in her eyes, she knew what was coming, all vidula could do was to hold Ananwika's hand. “we broke up after college, he went to do MS, we did stay in touch but not for long... after few months he said he didn't feel committed to me anymore...! My world came to a stand still...! But I couldn't let my world fall apart, I joined this company, started working hard... things were coming back to normal. But Fate wasn't done with me... Love hit me again in a unusual way again with a guy who I didn't even look upon once even though we worked on same project. Everything in my life was dull and gloomy, I was vulnerable, every decision I made I was not sure, that is when he came breezing in, he provided me the support, he was always there making sure I did it right. I had suffered once, I didn't let myself fall for his charm and smile, I knew what would happen if I failed, I didn't have the strength for it.
Ananwika's lips curled into a smile but her eyes told a different story: “But he proposed me, I was not in a position to agree his proposal but he persisted. I thought may be this is how I heal myself, all his action completed me, I felt happy... I didn't have to dream cause the reality was much sweeter and better than dreams... My cup of love was full again...! but fate had its own way of teaching you that dreams are better way to live... It plucked him away from me in the form of his parents... I was lost again, somewhere there is no life, no color, no hope, no path, no love... may be my soul is dead... I don't know... I went back into my shell , I didn't know who to trust... I immersed my self in work.. My parents are planning to get me married... I don't know if I can stand another failure...!”
Vidula was in loss of words, she didn't have slightest idea of what she should say to her...
Vidula: “Don't worry you will find love again!”
Ananwika smiled back at her, Vidula knew that smile had so much of pain and she understood what it meant, “Smile, even if it's a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.”
Vidula was back to her seat lost in work until Varesh pinged her.
Varesh: “Its almost time... meet you in cafeteria!”
Vidula: “ya ok!”
Varesh was waiting for Vidula in the cafeteria, he had chosen a table from where he could scan the entire crowd. He passed vidula a cup of coffee.
Varesh: “You ok? You look disturbed!”
Vidula: “Nothing... just stupid work! Leave that... are you planning to ask her out?”
Varesh: “You mean date?”
Vidula: “Ask her for a coffee first!”
Varesh: “May be yes I'll... but you never know when I'll get lucky! ;)”
Vidula: “A guy on a date keeps wondering if he will get lucky or not but a girl always knows!”
Varesh: “haa haa ok Madam!!”
Varesh stopped drinking his coffee and nudged Vidula, he was pointing at a girl drinking juice. Vidula found it difficult to swallow the coffee, this is was the worst thing that could have happened... Varesh was pointing to Ananwika. Being his childhood friend, she had to tell him everything, may be she could save him from being hurt... Vidula told him why saw was disturbed before, she told varesh about Ananwika’s past.
Vidula: “She may not understand your love...! her scars won't heal varesh! she is devastated”
Vidula looked at Varesh, his face went blank, she couldn't read any expression or get any reaction from him.
Vidula: “Are you ok?”
Varesh heard vidula's question but he didn't know how he felt... his mind was not expecting this but now it was not responding to it either, varesh noticed vidula's fingers tap him on the arm, his senses were working yet brain didn't respond. Vidula didn't force him, she knew he must be in shock, so waited for him to respond, at last varesh did respond.
Varesh: “I am feeling totally powerless!”
Vidula didn't understand what he meant but didn't interrupt him “I am in a position where I can't blame anyone, couldn't react or respond.”
Vidula: “Varesh please... you don't even know her!” but he had left the table by then.
Vidula returned to her workstation, thinking about the day, which was supposed to be boring... now she would have preferred a boring day. She started working when she received an email from varesh.
Hey,
All I have to thank this girl who had me taught few feelings which I have not experienced before.
Vidula finished reading the email, her heart felt heavy... She has read a lot about love but what she couldn't say, what was love… when cup was full or when the cup was empty...!
Read more!
Varesh: “Hey Good Morning! What doing?”
Vidula: “hi.. GM! Just checking emails.. what news?”
Varesh: “Actually... one important matter...”
Vidula: “Hmmm... tell tell”
Varesh: “One girl...!”
Vidula: “Only one???
”Varesh: “hey mokka.. I m serious!”
Vidula: “O.K...tell!”
Varesh: “Saw a girl in cafeteria...”
Vidula: “when?”
Varesh: “Actually one week back... daily going to cafeteria to see her”
Vidula: “
whats her name?”Varesh: “Don't know!”
Vidula: “Which project? ”
Varesh: “Don't know!”
Vidula: “Waste fellow... One week and you didn't find it out yet?? you call yourself a GUY!
”Varesh: “Hey... actually only after you asked I realized it... till now I didn't feel like knowing all these details about her!”
Vidula: “hmmm hmmm
”Vidula knew varesh from school days, they wen to same college and now working in same company. From what vidula knew about varesh, it never mattered to him if he had a girlfriend or not, he wasn't the desperate types, he looked but never went overboard for a girl, but now she felt may be this one was an exception.
Varesh: “First look made it all, I was not bothered on who might be around talking to her. All which mattered was the sight of her. Those expressive cute smile, hands of hers playing in air while she was busy expressing herself and with the breeze making her hair lift up from her shoulders. With a bag hanging from her left shoulders and a brown or maroon chudidhare she was wearing. I must be insanely stuck on the sight I even forgot to move from where I was standing upon. It was a ordinary evening, until this scene before me unfolded. I had no idea why I had gone to canteen that particular evening, which was not part of the general routine of mine. Colleague beside had to pat me, while I was awestruck, to help me come back to reality!! Actually, what I was seeing was a reality too, it was just a scene of a girl who didn't do anything out of ordinary, she was just having a simple conversation may be with her friend. Why is it that it felt like something special I was looking at? Not many guys in that place were looking at her either, which means she was not that great chick!”
Varesh: “r u ter?”
Vidula: “you have typed so much, let me finish reading it!!!!”
Varesh: “ok ok”
Vidula: “VARESH!!! r u in LOVE??
”Varesh: “I don't know... but listen... This clear scene made me go to canteen often, I had no other thought or I dint know anything about her. I have no idea what made me do it. But I did know with my meager skills of reading a mind that
- Here is a girl who speaks her mind out.
- She was not afraid of speaking what was on her mind to that person.
- Completely transparent mind which is one thing I thought of myself too.
- It then stuck me when a person is this very comfortable talking to other , she must be friendly enough.”
Varesh considered himself to be a smart guy, but the questions vidula was framing made him look stupid, he wondered, why isn't vidula interested in things I know about her!
Varesh: “I wasn’t feeling bad on not knowing anything about her. May be, things like this I have never seen or experienced before. All I knew was that I enjoyed watching that girl that I thought. This was more than enough to make me feel happy. I did not want to be blank like this again, today evening come to cafeteria I'll show her may be you can help me out!”
Vidula: “You know this is called LOVE at first sight!
”Varesh: “May yes or may be no... I don't know... just come ok.. 4.30 cafeteria!”
Vidula: “yes yes sure!! but your treat!
”Varesh: “we will decide it there... bye!”
Vidula: “Bye bye Lover boy!!
”When she closed the chat window, she noticed an unread email in “IMPORTANT” folder. Work consumed vidula's entire noon, it was almost 2.30 when she finished her work and replied to that email. She was hungry and eating alone was even more boring, she scanned around for a company. She noticed Ananwika sitting two cubicles away lost in her work.
Ananwika was one year junior and Vidula had to force ananwika to join her for lunch. The girls occupied a table in the far corner of the canteen.
Vidula: “Hey don't work too much ok?”
Ananwika: “Nothing like that...!”
Vidula: “You okay? You don't look so good...”
Ananwika was about to reply but she paused and took a long breathe, her eyes became moist.
Vidula: “Ananwika... what's wrong?”
Ananwika tried to smile but she couldn't stop the tears rolling out of her eyes. “Why is it happening to me?”
Vidula didn't respond but was patiently waiting for Ananwika to continue.
Ananwika: “I fell in love with a guy in college, he was smart and intelligent, we loved each other a lot, he was everything to me..but..” her eyes were red, she burst into uncontrollable tears, Vidula could see intense pain in her eyes, she knew what was coming, all vidula could do was to hold Ananwika's hand. “we broke up after college, he went to do MS, we did stay in touch but not for long... after few months he said he didn't feel committed to me anymore...! My world came to a stand still...! But I couldn't let my world fall apart, I joined this company, started working hard... things were coming back to normal. But Fate wasn't done with me... Love hit me again in a unusual way again with a guy who I didn't even look upon once even though we worked on same project. Everything in my life was dull and gloomy, I was vulnerable, every decision I made I was not sure, that is when he came breezing in, he provided me the support, he was always there making sure I did it right. I had suffered once, I didn't let myself fall for his charm and smile, I knew what would happen if I failed, I didn't have the strength for it.
Ananwika's lips curled into a smile but her eyes told a different story: “But he proposed me, I was not in a position to agree his proposal but he persisted. I thought may be this is how I heal myself, all his action completed me, I felt happy... I didn't have to dream cause the reality was much sweeter and better than dreams... My cup of love was full again...! but fate had its own way of teaching you that dreams are better way to live... It plucked him away from me in the form of his parents... I was lost again, somewhere there is no life, no color, no hope, no path, no love... may be my soul is dead... I don't know... I went back into my shell , I didn't know who to trust... I immersed my self in work.. My parents are planning to get me married... I don't know if I can stand another failure...!”
Vidula was in loss of words, she didn't have slightest idea of what she should say to her...
Vidula: “Don't worry you will find love again!”
Ananwika smiled back at her, Vidula knew that smile had so much of pain and she understood what it meant, “Smile, even if it's a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.”
Vidula was back to her seat lost in work until Varesh pinged her.
Varesh: “Its almost time... meet you in cafeteria!”
Vidula: “ya ok!”
Varesh was waiting for Vidula in the cafeteria, he had chosen a table from where he could scan the entire crowd. He passed vidula a cup of coffee.
Varesh: “You ok? You look disturbed!”
Vidula: “Nothing... just stupid work! Leave that... are you planning to ask her out?”
Varesh: “You mean date?”
Vidula: “Ask her for a coffee first!
”Varesh: “May be yes I'll... but you never know when I'll get lucky! ;)”
Vidula: “A guy on a date keeps wondering if he will get lucky or not but a girl always knows!”
Varesh: “haa haa ok Madam!!”
Varesh stopped drinking his coffee and nudged Vidula, he was pointing at a girl drinking juice. Vidula found it difficult to swallow the coffee, this is was the worst thing that could have happened... Varesh was pointing to Ananwika. Being his childhood friend, she had to tell him everything, may be she could save him from being hurt... Vidula told him why saw was disturbed before, she told varesh about Ananwika’s past.
Vidula: “She may not understand your love...! her scars won't heal varesh! she is devastated”
Vidula looked at Varesh, his face went blank, she couldn't read any expression or get any reaction from him.
Vidula: “Are you ok?”
Varesh heard vidula's question but he didn't know how he felt... his mind was not expecting this but now it was not responding to it either, varesh noticed vidula's fingers tap him on the arm, his senses were working yet brain didn't respond. Vidula didn't force him, she knew he must be in shock, so waited for him to respond, at last varesh did respond.
Varesh: “I am feeling totally powerless!”
Vidula didn't understand what he meant but didn't interrupt him “I am in a position where I can't blame anyone, couldn't react or respond.”
Vidula: “Varesh please... you don't even know her!” but he had left the table by then.
Vidula returned to her workstation, thinking about the day, which was supposed to be boring... now she would have preferred a boring day. She started working when she received an email from varesh.
Hey,
All I have to thank this girl who had me taught few feelings which I have not experienced before.
- Awestruck on seeing her all these days
- Making me appreciate something which is otherwise ordinary.
- Making me take a notice of a girl
- Filling almost all my thoughts about a girl all these days
- Making me enjoy the time when I was alone, when I would be thinking of her
- Making me comb my hair neatly often and keeping me neat most times
- Feeling of being elated
- After I came to know about the girl, I did realize I was hollow
- I did realize am sensible enough not to curse her or you
- I am good guy indeed
- I did experience the feeling of Total powerlessness
- I did realize there are few things which make me go crazy still it will not be mine
- I did realize its not her whom I should let go, but its my thoughts about her which I should really let go
- I did realize, I was happy by just seeing her from distance, why should I be down then?
Vidula finished reading the email, her heart felt heavy... She has read a lot about love but what she couldn't say, what was love… when cup was full or when the cup was empty...!
